Human heart is a mystery

16.paź.2012

I think I have never been close to God. Nobody demanded it from me in my home. I met my future husband in 1998 and he encouraged me to go to Holy Mass every week. But for me it was only an unpleasant obligation I had to fulfill. I never prayed, neither in the morning nor in the evening. Before we got married we had been living in a so-called loose relationship for 12 years. He was divorced. Our daughter was born after we had been together for two years. We continued the sin of unchastity. New enslavements came with the addictions of smoking, solariums and parties.I started to quarrel more often and was often vulgar. There was a time when we wanted to split up.

I was in this state until October 2009. Then for the first time I went to the meeting for young people at Czatachowa. It was not my heart’s desire to go on that trip – I went more out of curiosity. I wanted to go home after the Holy Mass. Yet I stayed. During the adoration I could not stand that place or the way Father Daniel looked at me. I was thinking about escaping from this place. I looked at the people who were praying and started to wonder to myself  “What I am doing here?” II had had enough. At some point Father Daniel said “There is a young woman standing in the antechapel and she is wondering what she is doing here.” I was filled with shame and I had the impression that everybody was staring at me. Father Daniel continued and said “Do not be afraid, the Lord Jesus would like to reconcile with you”. I felt t hot touch from the middle of my back to the nape of my neck at that moment. My heart was beating so hard I could hear it. I started to cry. The Lord Jesus touched me so deeply with His love that He converted my sinful heart.

When I came back home the first thing I did was to kneel down in front of the image of the Merciful Jesus (which I had unthinkingly bought a few years before). and I started to pray. Today I will neither leave my home without the morning prayer nor go to sleep without it. I personally met Father Daniel for a conversation after one year of attending the meetings. Something was calling inside me for a change in my life. After my tearful 40-minute monologue Father Daniel Said “You have just finished your confession”. “Me??? I cannot as I live in co-habitation….”  I was granted absolution. Condition – living in chastity. I was totally free. Jesus forgave me everything. I could receive His Body. We joined the Community of Love and Mercy of Jesus in Czatachowa. My life was positively “turned upside down” by the Lord Jesus. He relieved me from the addiction of smoking and the other enslavements. He healed my relationship with my mother. He gave me His Love without which I am not able to persevere even for one moment. We got married in a registry office in March. We received from God the greatest gift, the grace of chastity. I know that we would not be able to manage without it.

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