We came to St. Joseph’s Parish for the first time on the 16th of April 2011. Before we went there I had gone to church from time to time, most often when my wife had been grumbling. But I did use to pray to Jesus and the Holy Spirit at a time of crisis. An acquaintance we had not seen for a long time visited us in February this year. She did not know what problems we were struggling with but she told us about the meetings in Częstochowa and added that I would like them. I have had a problem achieving stability in my professional life since 2001. Stress and then depression started to sneak into my life; this ‘monkey on my back’ started to accuse me of being worth nothing, asking why the Earth had to carry a parasite like me. It was best (it seemed to me) to deaden him with alcohol. It was the beginning (it seemed to me) to deaden him with alcohol. I reached the stage when, for more than two years, I had been drinking 0.5 litres of vodka per day, 7 days a week. Whereas, once or twice a week I had to drink 0.7 l as half was too little. I rarely drank less.
As I drank more and more I did not deaden the accusations at all, but on the contrary I was attacked more and more; our marriage was hanging by a single thread. Moreover, as my nervous system was damaged I became more and more nervous, quarrelsome and aggressive (I would like to thank the Lord for the patience and perseverance of my wife). Then I reached the moment when I claimed that I would either drink myself to death or kill myself, which was the same thing then I would have peace and the others would too. My wife had previously persuaded me to join AA meetings and visit a psychologist. I had some experience with psychology and I am also stubborn so I did not want this phoney baloney which I had knowledge of. Every time they would only make me angry, so as soon as I returned home the first thing I would do would be to get drunk. When we went to Częstochowa I wanted to come back home just after the Mass. Yet, as it was the time of our birthdays my wife asked me to stay for the second part until the end (and Glory to the Lord). I opened myself to the action of the Lord, since if He couldn’t help me no-one could. During the second part I had a vision of a small lamb which was trying to get up but could not and then Father Daniel said the following words from the Lord: “Do nothing, I will come and lift you up.” When God speaks, He not only speaks but also does something. During the Way of the Cross I realized for the first time in my life how much Jesus had suffered. The Lord took away everything that was bad during this first meeting: stress, depression, thoughts about hopelessness and suicide, the cause of my drinking alcohol. When I returned God started to gradually change my life. Everything in life took on a new, wonderful dimension with the Lord. Unfortunately, alcohol was still present in my life, I yielded to the lies of Satan or in some way or other justified my drinking to myself. Yet, I started to pray more and more at the same time. I could not imagine Sunday without the Holy Mass and I also could not imagine giving up going to the parish of St. Joseph every month. After watching the movie “Mystery of the Eucharist” by Cataliny Rivas I realized that although I went to the church I had never really participated in the Holy Mass. Our next wedding anniversary was about to come. Then I recalled the words of my wife when she said that she wanted to receive neither jewelry nor presents from me, but the greatest gift for her would be if I stopped drinking alcohol. So I started to pray about it to the Lord. On the 21st of September, when I got up with a huge hangover (as I did every day), God induced my heart to prayer. Then I realized that God had already taken everything that had destroyed me, including alcohol. But I did not want to give it to him, so Satan had easy access to me. That was the time when I gave away the alcohol to God. When I stopped praying I felt as if I had never been an alcoholic and had never drunk alcohol. I got a second life and I forgot how it used to look. I have not drunk alcohol from that time. When the Lord takes something that destroys us He does it for real, but we have to give our consent to it and we have to give it to Him with our will. Our God is the mighty God. Yet, whatever He does is done in love and with love for a human. Glory to His name!
I would like to thank God that: “he came and lifted me up”, for all graces which I have already received from Him and still receive, for my wonderful wife Ania, for the Community of Love and Mercy of Jesus and for Father Daniel. Let God bless you in your job for the Glory of the Lord.
If I could live, I do not know how long, it would be too short to thank the Lord for everything he did for me. Amen.
Darek, 41 years old
